And then, Matthew did this:
He sat up, leaned against me, and took my hand.
Why is this such a big deal?
Matthew, for the most part, cuddles more with his dad than with me. He's quicker to show more affection with and to his dad than with me and always has been. I, on the other hand, have to ask for hugs, kisses, what have you. I've never understood it and admittedly, I still at times wrestle with it. For the longest time it was me and me alone at the helm, trying my hardest to keep it all and us together so I guess it would be only natural that I would take his affections for his dad a tad personally. And then I thought, how stupid of me. You know he loves you!
And then he reaches out and takes my hand. No prompting. No cues. HE did it! On his own!
Do you know what that does to a mom's heart?
It makes mine skip a beat!
As an autism mom, I've had to let go of some of the hopes and dreams I used to have for him in exchange for a whole new set. I've had to let go of the image that I'd held in my head for so long and learn to accept him for who he is and all the while still pushing him toward the potential I know he possesses. He is not broken. He is not defective. There is nothing in him missing. He is my son! And I could not be prouder of him!
He only held my hand for a few minutes but the hold he has on my heart is for a lifetime!
To all of you warrior moms on this Mother's Day weekend, I wish you and your incredible children happiness and blessings!
