I've struggled with whether or not I should share something in this blog lest others be hurt and, God forbid, offended. After all this blog relays the life and misadventures of an autism mom and the potentially offensive piece doesn't exactly relate to autism. Therefore it may not have a place here.
You know what? Screw it! Here it is. The chips can fall where they may and I will take my lumps if needed!
If you have been anywhere on the internet freeway lately, I will find it safe to assume that you have heard, seen, and read the controversy surrounding A&E's "Duck Dynasty" patriarch Phil Robertson and an interview with GQ. I have neither the time nor the energy to go into the details. The long and short of it is that when asked the question, "What, in your mind, is sinful?" Mr. Robertson gave him an answer:
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” (http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson?currentPage=2)
He goes on to add, including himself in this laundry list-- “We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?” (http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson?currentPage=2)
The end result led to outrage from the LGBT community and Phil Robertson being suspended from "Duck Dynasty."
Now, let me make something clear right out of the gate. I am a Christian. I am not a perfect Christian. I am not even a "good" Christian," if either even exist. What I am is an individual with more flaws and scars than anything else, who has seen struggle and hardship more than I care to. What I am is an individual who has labored under the delusion that simply because you love someone, you are not obligated to accept and embrace everything they do. I am also someone who has labored under another delusion that simply because you differ with someone, however that may be, you still show love, mercy, and goodness to them. I am a Christian and because I am, I do not, cannot, and will not support same-sex marriage or the gay lifestyle. This does not mean, however, that I give my stamp of approval to mistreatment and abuse of any kind. Let me also add that all those who are in relationship with me have known this about me from the beginning. It has never been a secret!
I made the mistake of sharing a couple of pictures and links that supported Phil Robertson. This is where I went wrong. What a surprise I got the following morning.
Most people start the day off with a hot cup of coffee and the morning news. Others have breakfast on the fly. How did my Friday morning start? With a message in my inbox that went a little something like this:
"You have proven who you are. A fake Christian bigot! I am unfriending you as I do not need hateful bigots in my life!"
Talk about tolerance!
I lost count of the number of times I read this message. I was stunned each time my eyes fell on the words "fake Christian bigot." I was floored to say the very least. I ended up blocking this person but not before I copied and pasted his message into a post that was shared on my timeline. I am not quite sure what he was trying to accomplish, if he was trying to accomplish anything at all, but if he had something in mind, it backfired in a major way!
I spent a good part of the morning in tears. Words hurt, especially words of that magnitude. As the day went on, I went from being in tears to finding myself spun into a level of pissed off that I haven't been in a long time! How dare he!
First of all, I know what it is to be different and to be bullied and mistreated because of it. I didn't know what it was that made me different and I have gone back and forth with feelings of relief to wishing I had known. I know what it is to have words cut to the very fiber of my soul. I'll let you in on a little secret, if you haven't already figured it out; words take longer to heal, if they ever really do. I know what it is to be physically abused while others looked on and oddly enough "never saw a thing." I know what it is to be written off by the ones who were supposed to be teaching me, helping me learn.
I also know what it is to watch my own children go through these very things, feeling helpless as its happening because no one is listening or taking me seriously. I know what it is to be excluded, a misfit. Because I do, I've learned how not to treat others. I wish I could say I hit the mark each and every time throughout my life but sadly I didn't. I've kept going though. Isn't that what counts?
I'm 44 years old with more years behind me than in front of me and I am fed up to the gills with being told what I have to accept simply because the rest of the world tells me to and if I don't I'm "hateful," a "fake Christian bigot." I am maxed out with being told that I'm intolerant if I don't embrace what I know goes against my convictions. I am worn to the bone with being told I have to water down my convictions to the point of silence for the comfort and happiness of someone else when these same folks will not do the same for my comfort and happiness.
What I want is fairly simple and that is--
--to love God and grow closer to Him than I have ever been
--to live by His word
--to love others
--and to let others see Him in me.
That's it!
I am not going to show His love by hiding in a corner somewhere.
At the same time, I can't let the world see Him in me if I have more of the world in me than I do Him!
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